Do you know what a sea robin is? Google Image that shit. It’s basically like the last living dinosaur. It has a face like a catfish with whiskers, rigid scaly wings to move it along the ocean floor, a hard back, and a tail like a lobster, and when it’s out of the water it barks. It’s true. You’ll be out fishing for hours, hoping to get some tuna or something worthwhile, but instead every tug at the line is another sea robin.
Of course the time I go out to catch some shit-fish all I got were sea robins, which I threw back. When I saw my mom later that day she was like, “So what did you catch? What’s for dinner?” “Nothing. Just sea robins. We threw them back.” You could see tears well up in her eyes. She called me an idiot. She had to take a seat as if I’d knocked the wind out of her. “Don’t you know sea robins’ tails taste just like lobster tails?”