I was a sex surrogate 

By: Rebecca Torosian
Salon, Oct 31, 2012
The ad in New York magazine said they needed women who were “bright, articulate and enjoyed helping people.” A little skimpy on information, but I decided to call. I’d just returned from an eight-month dance-teaching gig in Brazil, and I had no idea what to do next.
I know many women wouldn’t take the job they were advertising, but I’d had my own sexual trauma in the past, and needed healing from that. Since I had spent many years in self-destruct mode, I wanted to use my need for sexual connection to help others. Finally, I had my answer: working as a sex surrogate.
Like Helen Hunt’s character in “The Sessions,” a sex surrogate is a therapist who helps people overcome their bedroom dysfunctions. Yes, it involves sleeping with strangers, but unlike prostitution, these men weren’t in search of a good time. They were in pain and filled with shame. They had tried everything. Usually, a sex surrogate is a last resort. And over time, they taught me more about intimacy and vulnerability than I could have imagined.
It wasn’t always easy to get close to these men. Bruce was a limo driver, and though he was warm and engaging, he was so unkempt that I worried I’d have trouble being intimate. (I’ve changed the men’s names and identifying details to protect them.) I felt guilty about this, because it was a point of pride that I didn’t judge my clients, but Bruce was a challenge in this department. He was in his mid- to late 30s, bald except for some fuzzy patches, and very heavy. His shirt was always halfway tucked in and had food stains on it. Most of his weight was in his stomach, which lay over the top of his pants.
But my heart went out to the guy. With a sheepish grin, he would sit awkwardly on the couch and describe his problems. He had little experience with women and knew almost nothing about female anatomy and how it worked.
So I taught Bruce how to move his hips in a thrusting motion. Starting with our clothes on, I demonstrated for Bruce simulated intercourse positions: doggy style, female on top, side to side. He was so confused about how to find the entrance to the vagina in rear entry. “It’s all turned around now,” he said.
At first, I was astonished to find that men like him existed. I always thought men were born with an innate understanding of how to have sex. But what I discovered over the years was just how wrong I was. I’ve learned that men are extremely sensitive about being able to “perform” and that they often have no idea how their bodies work. They are terrified that women will find out they don’t know what they are doing, and they will be humiliated and shamed.
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I was a sex surrogate[[MORE]] Rebecca Torosian Salon, Oct 31, 2012 The ad in New York magazine said they needed women...
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Dayuuum. Where can I get an application?!
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